I wondered how my friends knew all the names of the streets in my neighborhood. I searched in vain for deer in the woods and hawks in the sky during family road trips. I awkwardly stared at my crush from the other side of the classroom. When I looked up at the night sky, I saw black. I tattled on my older brother for throwing a basketball at my head from 2 feet away and swore there was a conspiracy when all the neighbor boys backed up his story that he had been at least 10 feet away. I acquired the nickname "Calamity Jane" for always tripping over my own two feet. And I wasn't very good at softball...
In 5th grade, I finally had an eye exam and the doctor told my mom that I was a "danger to myself without glasses."
So for the next 14 years or so, I've been a functioning (albeit still clumsy) member of society with the help of contacts and glasses.
Today, in about 1.5 hours, I'll be undergoing Photorefractive Keratectomy (PRK) Eye Surgery. PRK is similar to LASIK in the fact that they're both laser vision correction surgeries, but the procedure and recovery time differ. In summary: LASIK is the more popular version because there is very little pain and a very short recovery time (approx 48 hours) but PRK was the original vision correction surgery and despite the chance for more pain and a longer recovery time, it has the same long-term results (perfect vision).
I can barely even imagine what it will be like to have perfect vision.
To not have to shower blind (curse you shampoo and conditioner bottles that look exactly the same).
To be able to workout and play sports without needing contacts on hand.
To be able to put my makeup on without being one inch from the mirror.
To be able to lay on my side and read a book without glasses digging into my face.
To be able to see underwater.
To not have to worry about losing or tearing a contact.
To wake up in the morning and not have to feel around for my glasses (it's the worst when they fall off my nightstand, I'm like Velma).
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| Seriously my life. Just ask my boyfriend. |
I'll be holding onto all of those thoughts the next few days. Like I mentioned, with PRK there is a longer and potentially more painful recovery time. I decided to try and write a blog about this because the experience of reading other people's blogs about getting PRK is what gave me the confidence to go through with it in the first place.
[In case you're wondering why I didn't go with LASIK, the results of my evaluation were that my correction was too strong and my cornea not thick enough for the LASIK procedure, so PRK was my only option.]
From talking to my surgeon, surfing the web, and reading other blogs, I've tried to mentally prepare myself for the worst case scenario. During the first 48 hours, it's possible that I'll experience both extreme pain and extreme light sensitivity. If the latter is the case, my blog posts might be very short.
On the flip side, I read one woman's blog and she was out walking in the sunshine (wearing her special sunglasses) the day of her surgery...so you never know. Everyone is different.
In preparation for the worst, I've downloaded audible to listen to Amy Poehler's audiobook and I've bookmarked pages for a bunch of podcasts recommended to me by friends. Yesterday, I went grocery shopping and bought a bunch of food to snack on and some easy dinners to make. And I'm off work for the next three days.
I've also been praying the rosary. When it comes down to it, this surgery will be like a miracle for me, and if I can't have Jesus come rub dirt and spit in my eyes (John 9:1-7), I guess "frickin lasers" are the next best thing.
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| I couldn't help myself |
To finish my pre-op reflections, I thank God for the fact that this surgery exists, that I am able to afford it, and that I am a candidate. I pray that my suffering isn't too terrible and that everything goes well. I found the below prayer online and I'm going to do my best to remember it even when sedated. Wish me luck!
Loving Father, I entrust myself to your care this day; guide with wisdom and skill the minds and hands of the medical people who minister in your Name, and grant that every cause of illness be removed, I may be restored to soundness of health and learn to live in more perfect harmony with you and with those around me. Through Jesus Christ. Amen.
Into your hands, I commend my body and my soul. Amen.
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